ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm both gender and math confused
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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