member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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