We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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