I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
