his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
