At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
