I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
