Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
