Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
