I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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