I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
