Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
