my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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