What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The Olympian is in my bed
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