I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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