Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
