My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Be still, my beating vagina.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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