I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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