wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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