you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
