I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
