last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
