Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
