Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
