i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize