Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize