So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
