i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
