ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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