wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize