it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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