hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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