Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
