im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
