I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
