I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
