Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
