never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
