worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
