I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
