So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
