i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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