have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
