dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize