hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm really busy with my period
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