I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
