Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
being pregnant is like rehab
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
