I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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