Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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