just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
