I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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