Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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