I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
my poor anus
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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