God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
