So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
