whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
