i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
