Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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