Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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