I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
