I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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