is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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