D3 body, D1 cock
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
