My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
