Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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